Voiding Rheume at Speed.

When spitting from one's bike at speed there are but two options in my opinion. The first is to spit to the side in which case pedestrians, traffic or one's own shoulder run the risk of bieng loogied. The second is to spit to the front. It is possible to spit directly onto the ground in this way but there is nothing quite so satisfying as spitting dirctly onto your tyre causing the spit to ricochet forward onto the ground with impressive speed and efficiency. It's like getting the ball on a pin-ball machine to fly up the super-duper-chute or some such equivalent - I'm sure you know the feeling - smashing something that's far away with a catapult is also simimlar - unless you've just hit the patio door or a treasured garden gnome. Be warned however, for if you miss the tyre your spit might just land on the inner rim of the wheel and this causes the spit to be propelled back toward you. It's never nice to have something gooey in your crotch is it? Is it? Hmmm. Anyway, in exceptional circumstances, where the product has a high viscosity (if my understanding o fthe word is correct) it may even hit you much higher up. I remember in my earlier teens I spat in my own eye on the way to band (as it known to everyone who went to 'band' - in the USA they'd call it 'band practice' because they like big words but interestingly, not unusual spellings).

For advice on puking from the windows of taxis, consult my colleauge Mr. David Healy, who is contactable through myself, or Fingal County Council.