Monkey Business

I went to eat in an Italian restaurant tonight with Quasi-Mojo. I had some food and some wine and he didn't order anything. He sat, he smoked, and he took a not-uncommon jab at my lifestyle. I thought what he had to say was interesting, though I'm not really in a position to address it as I can neither entirely refute his logic nor embrace his point of view. I don't think he wanted an answer from me anyway. The conversation went like this:

"I'll buy you something if you like" I said,
"I know you would," he replied. "I've been thinking about that for a while."
"What? You're playing it cryptic tonight?"
"Not at all. Let me ask you this: why would you buy me something?"
"Because you are my friend, I like you and I have the money, and I wouldn't mind giving it to you if you wanted something. This isn't being cryptic?"
"I'm good company?"
"Yes."
"I'm good company when I have something, and I'm bad company when I don't. Isn't that what you mean?"
"Well, I'd be more comfortable if you had something maybe, but I don't see..."
"I know that. But I had to make you admit that."
"I don't know where you're going with this Quasi-Mojo. Do you have a point?"
"You know I do Horse. Sad thing is, you know what it is but you won't address it."
"Well I don't know... fine... help me out here."
"You make money and you spend money because you are afraid. You are afraid to 'plumb the depths' as they say, of your experience. You fear being without. My being without reminds you and it scares you. As you said yourself, it makes you uncomfortable."
"I was just being..."
"No. sorry. I shouldn't let you come in here. Let me go on. Living my life of non-productivity and the poverty that leads to allows me to really feel who I am and what my needs are. You are too afraid to make that experiment and you secretly envy my doing it. You intend to live a life where you produce enough wealth to allow yourself to fulfill needs that you don't even know you have. You will work and acquire to meet the needs you've convinced yourself you have, while concertedly refusing to find out what your needs are. And - and this is a big 'and' - in an extravagent show of ignorance and irony you 'sympathise' with and are 'generous' to, the friends that actually have more than you. More courage. More knowledge. Less money. You envy them. You don't empathise with them and you are not generous toward them. You are trying to sabotage their pursuit because if they are more like you, you won't think about what you are missing, and if you can 'help' them, then you have justified your own misguided path to yourself. Think about it. The fit hits the shan. Who freaks out? The guy who has nothing to lose? Or the guy with the house on the hill? And it's not just the money that'll make you weak. Working for the man? No choice when to work or not to? Who owns your time? Who owns your life?"
"Listen, my defences are low tonight. But you're obviously missing something. "Who owns my time?" Who owns this salmon! The king of the swingers wanted to be like Mogli? Why wasn't it the other way around?"
"Is that a serious question?"
"Would I be happy being like you? Are you even happy being you?"
"Are you happy to know me?"
"Yes, but..."
"Do you love me?"
"Well..."
"Are you going to finish that salmon?"
"No. Go on. Take it."
"I'm glad we had this talk Horse. I feel better. I think we both feel better. I'm going to the can. Monkey business."