Travelogue Chapter 6: Evansville, Indiana, USA.

Dear Reders,

From Indiana, Pennsilvania, (in which we left screeching tyre marks in an attempt to flee Scott's motel before they discovered Dave broke the toilet) we've made our way, driving directly into the sun - d'oh, to the state of Indiana. What town in Indiana I hear you ask? WEll what else could it be but... yes that's right folks... Evansville.

Having been disappointed to find that a trip to a house shaped like a shoe in Halem, Pennsilvania was impractical, our first leg took us to nowhere other than truckstops and the unexpected luxury of a RAmada hotel in Ohio, which was (bizarrely) cheaper than anywhere we had stayed so far. We then went on down to Cincinnati (known variously as 'porkopolis' and 'queen city')in the hope of seeing something (having seen nothing in the previous 24 hours) and were overcome by the startling dullness, and yes i'd even stretch to say ugliness, of this famous city. So we went to Kentucky for breakfast. Once there we went to 'Gunsmith Guns' to (possibly) buy a rifle - and didn't. Funny, in the pawnshops even, you can pick all kinds of weaponry from precision bows to
revolvers to rifles. Nice place. I'd recommend trying the grits if you ever go - but only because I wasn't actually brave enough to do so myself.

Determined to see something, we made a circuitous journey through the old-time town of Madison (where we had milkshakes that make you swell - literally) and utilised a fortune telling scales which costs one cent. I am 130 pounds, and can sway many people but meet my match in the opposite sex. I think that means I'm a tranny - I dunno. We only really went through Madison, Indianna (ok confession time - I forgot what state that was in and had to irritate everyone by asking. But now it's certain - yes it was Indiana) to get to Louisville (pronounced Loo - avil), Kentucky which is the home of if not the biggest baseball bat in the world, the biggest i think I'm ever going to see. This place was also alleged to have a fountain that shoots water 375 feet in the
air every fifteen minutes, but according to a homeless man it has been out of action since 1989. But that's ok because we'd done it. We saw something.

Later today, we'll be on the famous route sixty-six, and personally, my vote is a detour to Collinsville, Illinois the 'condiment capital of the world' where they have the biggest catsup bottle in the world. Don't ask - I don't know why - but perhaps it's because there's only so many interstate Wendy's a
person can take before they can only be satisfied by over-sized everyday items.

Thanks for the news flashes from the real world - keep them coming,

Onward and sideward,

James.

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